Sperm Bank Lady: “Are you a couple?”
Leslie: “No, tragically we are both heterosexual.”
Ann’s Decision - Episode 5.12
Ann: Are you drinking any fluids?
Ron: Yes, plenty.
Animal Control - Episode 5.8
Donna: Yes, I am a hunter, and it’s you season.
Summer Catalog - Episode 2.20
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: Are you posing? Because I don’t have a camera.
Leslie: Google Earth. Always takin’ pics.
Woman in Garbage - Episode 5.11
Leslie: The next we speak, we shall be dancing on the grave of a possum.
The Possum - Episode 2.18
Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Ann, code name: Been There, Done That. April is Currently Doing That. Donna is It Happened Once In A Dream. Chris, code name: If I Had To Pick A Dude. Ben is Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.
Bus Tour - Episode 4.21
Submitted by: alexhitchcock
Leslie: I never had a boyfriend threaten to commit arson for me before.
Donna: It gets old.
Lucky - Episode 4.18
Dennis Feinstein: Eddie’s my current CFO. But I might fire him and hire you. You got kids?
Dennis: That’s good. Dumb-dumb idiot has two kids. *Pbbfflliitt*
Citizen Knope - Episode 4.10
Submitted by: singlewalkrun
Ben: It’s a white flag, and you better start waving it now, Leslie!
Leslie: The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
The Treaty - Episode 4.7
Well done, inggridisnuts. You beat me to the punch. WELL. DONE.